Wilfred (US) Fan fiction
- Below is a general overview of my plan for my script. A first draft of the script is to follow this weekend.
- Below is a general overview of my plan for my script. A first draft of the script is to follow this weekend.
IDEAS
This episode would usurp the second episode of season 1.
Title: Control
The central plot of the episode:
While out on a walk down to the beach with Ryan, Wilfred yells “I’ll kill you” to some seagulls and chases them into the back of a truck. Ryan in a panic follows the truck out of town to where Wilfred has gotten out. He is smoking and as the truck pulls out he waves and lazily turns around at the same time. As Ryan pulls up and gets out Wilfred is pissing in the same spot. They have a brief argument and then Wilfred walks away from the road. There will be a scene of them walking together with Wilfred lecturing Ryan. Eventually they arrive at a cliff and Wilfred tells Ryan “This is what you were trying to do last night. Here it is, the easy way.”(referencing the suicide attempt in E01). Wilfred then lectures Ryan on having control of his life and bates him to jump to prove that he is the one in control of his life and that it’s his choice to be alive.
Reasoning
This wouldn’t be enough of a plot for an entire episode, however 800 words isn’t enough to get a complex plot across without it feeling tight. I’d rather have it feel a little quick and simple than sacrifice pace.
First Draft
- Ok, so this is a very rough first draft; with the ending still to come. Although, since the show usually ends with a little banter to cover the credits the climax is in this draft. I have poor punctuation skills (and spelling actually) so if you notice things that are wrong please be as specific as possible so that I can correct.
Ending
Ending
I plan to end this with Ryan and Wilfred in Ryan’s basement smoking and talking about Good Will Hunting. – As this is Fan Fiction I thought I’d end with a little nod to the show.
FYI
Christian is Ryans sister.
Jenna is Wilfreds owner.
Wilfred loves Matt Damon.
Wilfred loves Matt Damon.
And Ryan and Wilfred looks like this:
Script - finished version
Control
Open on the side of the
road out in the country. Wilfred waves as a truck pulls out and in the same
motion he turns around.
Ryan then pulls up and gets
out of his car.
Wilfred is peeing on the
side of the road and smoking.
Ryan: What the hell was
that? We have to get back, Jenna will be home soon.
Wilfred: Ryan, I'm not
going to the dentist. Relax, the sky’s blue and the days young.
Ryan: The sky's gray and
I’m done with today, and I'm done with your shit. Get in the car.
Wilfred: Gray you say?
Hmmmm.
Wilfred walks away from
Ryan and starts walking across a field.
Ryan runs after him and
catches up.
Wilfred: The problem, Ryan
is that you always come when you're called. Your sister tricks you into getting
a job you don't want, and when I convince you not to go you still apologize to
the bitch.
Ryan: She did me a favor...
Wilfred: She pulled on your
leash.
Ryan: And what about Jenna?
Wilfred: What about her? - Aggressively, turning to Ryan.
Ryan: I've seen her
physically pull on your leash.
Wilfred throws his
cigarette away and keeps walking.
Wilfred: I'm a dog, what's
your excuse?
They come to a cliff. It’s
raining and there is a high wind blowing.
Wilfred: Smell the sea air,
chase a bird, Ryan. Get in touch with your inner animal. – He growls “animal”.
Ryan: So I can be free like
you? (Ryan gestures toward
Wilfred). You’re trying to force me through this journey of self-discovery
so I can have the confidence to rub my ass on the carpet.
Wilfred: YES! Ryan,
everything in your life is under your control. You don’t have to take this
shit. Rub your ass on the carpet. Be a man! –
getting more incensed throughout the last two sentences.
Ryan picks up a stick, he
looks exasperated. Wilfred’s expression is of childish wonder and he's watching
the stick.
Ryan: You want it? Come on,
come on. Ryan is waving the
stick from side to side. Go
and get it.
He throws the stick, and
Wilfred runs out of frame.
Wilfred comes back with a
dead seagull in his mouth.
Ryan: you’re telling me to
be a man? Well you’re a dog. No one has complete control, Wilfred.
Wilfred drops the seagull.
Wilfred: You wanted to play
fetch, and I went hunting; control.
Ryan: I’m going home. - He begins to walk away.
Wilfred: This is what you
were trying to do the other night –
said quietly.
Wilfred takes a drag on his
cigarette: “If this is what you want then do it”
Ryan: This isn’t what I
want.
Wilfred: Isn’t it? – In a somber voice.
The wind and rain have
picked up and turned into a storm, Ryan and Wilfred are soaked and the cliff
and sea beyond look bleak.
Ryan: No, I…
Wilfred: Everyone wants you
to be this, be that. Maybe what you want is to be nothing? – said lyrically, with an upwards inflection
at the end.
Wilfred: Jump, Ryan, it’s
what you’ve been building to. You quit your job, you stopped talking to dad,
you blew Christain off. This is the next step, Ryan. Take control, be free! – He growls “be free”.
Ryan: Stop! – Yells this.
Wilfred: Why? – pitching forward, towards Ryan.
Ryan: Because I’m going to
do this my way.
The tension eases out of
Wilfred.
Wilfred: Good. – Wilfred turns, about to walk back.
Cut to them getting back
into the car. Wilfred shakes himself dry covering Ryan and the car in water.
Ryan looks at Wilfred, outraged.
The title screen comes
up accompanied by the theme music. The title screen fades to show Ryan sitting
on the couch in the basement. The camera is looking up at him from the table that is in
front of him. Wilfred is visible over his shoulder writing on a chalk board.
Ryan: You know, Wilfred I…..
Wilfred: Ryan, shhhh. If I can solve this my genius will
finally be recognized. And I’ll get that bitch from Harvard.
Wilfred twists his
trunk towards Ryan and smiles mischievously at him before putting the chalk
down and joining Ryan on the couch, Wilfred begins to pack a bong.
Ryan: Do you really think that he was going for the girl?
Ryan takes a sip of
his beer and sets it back down.
Wilfred: Why?
Ryan: Nothing, I just sensed a little magic coming from
Robin Williams is all.
Wilfred: So? Damon would have torn that apart.
Ryan: I dunno, the way Matt was holding onto him, It felt like
he was about to bend over.
Ryan takes another sip
and looks at Wilfred as he does.
Wilfred is smoking
from the bong and he looks angrily over the top at Ryan.
Ryan: (coyly with the
hint of a smile in his voice) And if Williams didn’t get him Affleck would
have.
Wilfred slams the
lighter down on the table and walks out of frame.
The title screen and music play again and are followed by
the credits.
Sounds good. A little ... odd, maybe, but then again I tend to be a bit square in certain areas (at least comparatively speaking), so that is in no way meant as a criticism.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your 'Reasoning' on the plot issue, as I have also reached the same conclusion - i.e. it's better to sacrifice plot than to sacrifice description, characterisation, and a whole bunch of other things which all suffer when you have to rush the pace.
P.S. Don't worry about it not being completely stand alone as a work of fiction, just make it make sense in context of the original programme. If you can, throw in a couple of little sentences or phrases here and there that clarify major plot points (like the suicide attempt you mentioned), but always read them again and make sure that they blend in with the rest of the story. If it sounds out of place, take it out.
That was a long post script. Oops.
Hey Niall,
ReplyDeleteAs I told you earlier, I hadn't heard of Wilfred before reading this, so I researched the show a little. Going by what I found, this looks like it fits with the general theme/concept of the show perfectly. I look forward to reading your draft, will post more once you've added some writing :)
Abbey
Oh, btw, you've spelled title wrong, I don't know if this really matters though, since these are just preliminary notes :)
Hi there,
ReplyDeleteI really really like it. There is a certain atmosphere to it which comes across even though it is written in script form.You have achieved a lot in a short piece; I feel like a lot has happened despite not much happening at all.
A voice going up at the end is called an "upward inflection" if you want to use the technical term.
Perhaps you could contextualize it in places by adding notes like who Jenna is etc, but if it doesn't fit don't worry.
I don't have much else to add, grammar seems fine to me(but I'm a noob too, don't take my word to heart).
Overall it is great =)
Abbey
Very good. Very good indeed.
ReplyDeleteSince you wanted specific critiquing, I thought I'd get the errors in your fic out of the way first, so bear with me:
1) In Wilfred's first line, you shortened "sky is" and "day is" to "sky's" and "days". Unfortunately, as both of those already have their own meaning, you can only leave it as "sky is" and "day is". And in a script, you probably don't need to write that in, if you want my inexpert opinion, because I would think that the actors would probably take care of that themselves. :)
2) There are a few typos, like "you leash" for "your leash", as well as a few missing full stops at the ends of lines of dialogue (and after the some of the directions as well, but they are less important as they are basically just extras).
3) "Growls animal" should be "growls like an animal" to make sense.
4) Make sure you capitalise the start of each piece of dialogue. It's just one of those things.
5) If you can be bothered, it might be a good idea to go through and put colons ":" after the character's names just before they speak (just to differentiate between dialogue and stage directions) as it was just a tad confusing in some places.
6) In dialogue, when a character is addressing someone directly (e.g. "No one has complete control, Wilfred" and "Jump, Ryan") using a comma before and after their name is essential to show that they are addressing that person and not just talking about them. Again, just one of those things.
Finally) "Questioningly" and "Outraged" aren't mutually exclusive, but you probably only need "outraged", as it already conveys a sense of "what on earth did you do that for?!?"
I'm really sorry about all that, but, well ... you did ask. :)
Wow. I just noticed how much I've actually written. Sorry.
BUT overall, I thought it was really good (even though you're probably thinking otherwise right now). The best part about it was that even though I am not much good at reading scripts (and worse at writing them), I was able to visualise the scene without much difficulty at all.. I don't know how you did it, but you turned what, for me, is a boring boring boring format into quite an entertaining read, in a slightly odd sort of way. You are certainly much better at them than I'll ever be, that's for sure.
Sorry if I gave you lots of work to do. But it is very good, despite the occasional error. To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, you might not write entirely accurately, but you write "with wonderful expression".
And that's a good thing.
Thanks! the positive feedback is great to hear, and the technical feedback is suuuper helpful. In particular, i agree that it doesn't need both "Questioningly" and "Outraged". I have a habit of trying to cram in too many words to make sure I've gotten my point across.
DeleteI don't know what its based on but im guessing it is a tv show? I think its a great idea that you wrote it as a script because it is how the original episodes must be written, therefore I find your work very realistic.
ReplyDelete