Nari's Fanfic

 The First Love

Today is our second wedding anniversary. Cal is wearing an expensive suit and coat. The people in Cibo restaurant are looking Cal’s shiny silver suit. His Suit attracts people’s attention and he loves it. When I finished getting changed I walked into the living room, Cal was waiting for me. When I saw Cal’s suit I remembered that he was wearing his gold suit on our first wedding anniversary. I thought that he is wearing the funniest suit in the world and it was before I knew he had another shiny suit. It felt like someone punched my face. ‘Oh my god, the two funniest suits in the world and my husband owns both of them?’


“Excuse me, Mr Hockley and Mrs Hockley”

I was thinking about our first anniversary when the waiter came over and poured us both a glass of extremely expensive red wine. Suddenly I hear the sound of glass breaking. I glance over at Cal and notice the expression of horror as he looks up at the waiter.


“You okay Sir?”

The waiter is running to the bar to take some napkins. He comes back to our table quickly and I can see his face.

“It can’t be”

Cal is still looking up at the waiter and said to me. The waiter took a cloth and wipes down the table. This situation is impossible as Jack Dawson died when Titanic sank.

“A-Are you Jack Dawson?”

Cal and my eyes are still looking up at his face, the waiter is looking at Cal’s face first and then he sees my face. It is definitely Jack Dawson’s eyes and everything.

“I’m sorry Mr Hockley and Mrs Hockley, My name is Frank Wood” He answers with his beautiful smile.

“No! I’m sure you are Jack Dawson!” I shout.

“Rose calm down”

Cal comes to my seat and pats my shoulder. I can see that Jack’s eyes aren’t telling lie, he really doesn’t know who I am. Cal calls Ben Yran, He is Cido restaurant’s owner and also Cal’s long-time friend.

“Hey Ben, Can I talk with this waiter for a while in our table?” Cal asks him.

“Why not” Ben looks at my pale face and answers Cal.

Cal makes the waiter to sit on one of chair in our table. The waiter wears a puzzled look on his face.

“I have no idea what’s going on here” The waiter says.

“Can you answer my personal questions which I’m going to ask you?” Cal asks the waiter and He replys with a nod. I want to ask him too, but I can’t say anything.

“Can you tell us your life memories? Like your date and place of birth”

“Well...I don’t know who you are, but I think you know who I am” The waiter answers.

“Are you an amnesiac?” I asks him. He replys with a nod.

Cal and I looks at each other. I never thought that Jack Dawson would ever come back to me. Cal shakes his head.
Jack Dawson starts to tell us his stories. The story begins four years ago.

“When I woke up I was in a hospital and the doctor said to me fortunately, I was rescued before frostbite could set in, but I couldn’t remember who I am and how I was there”

There is an awkward silence between us.

“Now your turn, tell me about who I am” Jack looked Cal first also he looked my eye too.

Cal opens his mouth and tells Jack that about the sinking of Titanic.

“Also we were the passengers of the Titanic”

“Are you really close friend to me?” Jack points to me with his finger.


“We were…”

I am all choked up and can't speak. Jack looks sadly into my eyes. If I said that we loved each other, what about my husband Cal and my life. I missed Jack so much but that was two years ago and I married Cal.

“Rose, do you want me to leave the table so you could talk in private?” Cal asks me. When he looking my eyes, that makes me so sad.

“It’s okay Cal” I smile to Cal, Cal smiles as well.

“We were…” I start to say again.

“We were…?” Jack asks.

“You are not Frank Wood. Your name is Jack Dawson and we loved each other but it was four years ago. I really missed you but…not now”

“Rose!” Cal shouts.

When I saw Jack Dawson in this restaurant, my heart was pounding but it is not because of the love.

“I thought you never forgot about Jack Dawson” Cal says.

“Don’t worry Cal, you are my husband aren’t you? And I love you” I reply to Cal.

Jack gave a nod of understanding for Cal and I.

“Even you and I loved each other I cannot remember that. And also I have my lovely girlfriend too” Jack smiles and he leaves our table. He says thanks to us because he got some memories back.

“Rose thank you, and I love you too” Cal says thanks to me too.

The memories of my life with Jack are a moment which I'll never forget but the future is more important than the past.


‘Goodbye my first love’ now I can left my first love story and I will start my future love stories.

Nari's Fanfic reviews

Titanic

LINK

The fanfic storyline is like a sequel to the original movie. Rose, who is pregnant with Jack’s baby, tries to run away and live as a lower class woman but is caught by Cal. They stay at a hotel where Rose meets Jack who had also survived. They secretly meet up and plan to run away.

This fanfic has a happy ending for Jack and Rose. I think this worked well because the original movie had a sad ending making people feel heartbroken due to the characters’ love story, so by writing a happy ending it fulfills people’s longingness for Jack and Rose’s happiness.

The author has uploaded this fanfic in separate chapters. By doing this, the author has created breaks and each ending of a chapter is during an important event therefore it makes readers curious and wants to keep reading.

I found this easy and fun to read as the plot flows at a reasonable pace.

August Rush

LINK

This fanfic plot continues from the ending of the original film. Louis and Lyla meet Evan after his concert. Louis and Lyla still have feelings for each other. The three of them return to Lyla’s home. They start a new life as a family and the whole fanfic is about them getting to know each other.

This fanfic was created because the author wanted more from the ending and there must be others who would agree. Although the story is a good insight into the characters’ new life, the writing style is quite distracting. Most of the text is conversations in speech marks, lacking description of any settings. There are many grammatical and spelling errors that brings the quality of this fanfic down. Sometimes the author is unclear of the logical flow of the plot making readers confused therefore I didn’t enjoy reading this fanfic as well others who left negative reviews.

Spirited Away 

 LINK    

 

This fanfic is a sequel to the original movie. Haku and Chihiro are living in their own world when Yubaba orders Haku to bring Chihiro back because her parents died leaving her no reason to stay in the human world. He brings her back and she reunites with old friends such as Lin. The story revolves around Haku and Chihiro’s love story.

This fanfic is confusing to read because the author makes it unclear about which characters are saying what. I had to read the text over a few times to understand at was going on. I think the reason why this fanfic is unclear is because the author is unsure and has not planned a strong storyline. This can be seen when chapters are very short with the author’s comment on not having any ideas. In the story there is a scene where Haku is drunk which I think is awkward as we know these characters from a children’s film.          

Dream High

LINK

This fan fiction is a Sam Dong centric fan fiction on the night of the Grammy's. The author imagines and develops the very last part of the drama. Sam Dong is getting ready for his performance and looks back to the path he took to get famous. Included in his memories is Hye Mi, the girl who helped him achieve his dream and whom he loved. He realizes he must forget her.

This fanfic is written with lots of detail so readers feel like they are there with the character. The author used Dream High's original music as well, so this fan fiction is like a film script. The original story of this drama has Hye-Mi and Sam Dong's love but this fan fiction is the author's own creative writing. The author is a huge fan of Sam Dong and changed the love story so that the Hye Mi would not end up with Sam Dong. This fanfic is a good read for other fans of Sam Dong who were not pleased with Hye Mi.

You're Beautiful

LINK

This fanfic is set in a scene from the drama series. It is the final episode where the two lovers Mi Nyu and Tae Kyung are finally together after overcoming the obstacles to their love. It is at Tae Kyung’s concert. He is on the stage singing and spots her in the crowd and runs to Mi Nyu.

I found this fanfic interesting because it as a unique approach to writing a fanfic. The author uses a song by FT ISLAND (a member from this band acted in the drama) and the fanfic is inspired by this song. The story is fitted between the lyrics that match the situation of the characters. I think this was a simple but effective way to show emotions and thoughts of the characters. I also liked the structuring of this fanfic, each paragraph was about one character so it was clear and easy to understand.

 

Troy's Fanfic

Finally at ease, Nate relaxes in the sun on Veriena Island. Sipping on his freshly made mojito, Nate’s attention was drawn up towards a familiar face.



“Nate, get up” said Elena. “Where’s Sully? I haven’t seen a wink of him since we got out of Vertino Alley.”


Nate paused, unsure how to respond.


“Wha… what?” Nate stuttered. “Where’s Sully? How the hell should I know? That lazy bastard is probably up to his knees in coconut Island bush by now.”





Sully, long time partner of Nathan Drake (Nate), treasure hunter as well.





“When will you two sort your differences out and grow up?”

“Once Sully decides it’s time for us to take a vacation.”Nate snickered.

“Sigh… Nate, I’ve been filming this documentary for three years and still have nothing to show for it.” “When are we going to film something I can use?” questioned Elena in high hopes.

“You’ll get your chance… I’ve been too busy saving your bacon every time we go out to film” Nate stated. “You need to be more independent, this kind of work isn’t for everyone.”





Nathan and Elena had recently arrived back from filming a documentary on his latest archaeological findings. The network Elena is working for instructed her to film Nate while he was to recover the lost remnants of his great, great-Grandfathers coffin. After being attacked by pirates, they were forced to abandon the expedition and seek refuge on a nearby island.





Nate decided perhaps they should look for Sully, after all, it had been a few days since the old coot stumbled off into the bushes half cut a few nights ago. Sully had been like a father figure to Nate, well, as much as an old drunk could be.





“Nate" called Elena.

"Yeah yeah... I'll first head back to the Hotel, check to see if the towels not hanging on his room door."

"Towel hanging on the..... Oh, I get it" Elena laughed and made a smirk look.





Nate made his way back to the Hotel. Passing by a nearby bar, he thought he heard the sound of a familiar voice come bellowing out from the bar entrance.



"Stupid bitch, I said I wanted peanuts not flavoured mung beans!" a dominating voice shouted.

"I'm sorry sir; please let me...” a frightened waitress whelped.

"Bugger off you... you jungle monkey, poo throwing..."

"Enough Sully...” echoed Nate's voice.

"Sorry miss, how much did you let him drink?"





Sully had always had a problem with the grog, the only time he isn’t drunk is when they're out treasure hunting. Unfortunately, recently they haven’t had much luck in the 'Hunting' side of things; the local government had placed a ban on foreigners boarding ships in the area. Pirates had engulfed the entire region after last year’s earthquake revealed promising lost treasures.





After Nate cooled down the heated dispute between Sully and the poor waitress, the two headed off to their hotel. Nate was more or less carrying Sully, having one of Sully's arms wrapped around his neck and the other dangling towards to ground.





"Sully" Nate groaned. "Why the hell do you weigh so much..."



Nate staggered back to the Hotel room where He left Sully to squirm over the bathroom sink.

He then left the Hotel room and headed towards the reception when he saw Elena walking in.







"Elena" Nate called out. Elena started heading towards Nate while fidgeting with her new cell phone.

"Where was he?" asked Elena.

"Where do you think?" Nate scoughed.



Nate started heading out of the reception when Elena stopped him.



"I got the call... Nate" Elena struggled to say.

"What call?" Nate replied.

"The source."



Elena had been waiting on information regarding a local pirate operation that happened off the coast near the island. He had important information on where they were exporting lost treasures potentially linked to Nates ancestors. Nate had been an avid explorer; treasure hunter for many years but only recently has he come this close to crossing the path of his great; great grandfather.





"What makes you trust this source anyway?" Nate asked. "Anonymous letters and dodgy emails? sounds like a great idea."





Nate was sceptical about the source, but he couldn’t bring himself to say no to the idea either. His entire life since an early age has been based around finding his lost family heirlooms. They were in the hundreds and collected over a few centuries. Spread out wide and far in various shipwrecks throughout the Tropics.





They set off to the museum where Elena's source had agreed to meet. Security was lacking in this part of the world, with not a single guard posted outside the Museum doors. Nate picked the lock and made his way inside, Elena followed.


"So, when is this source supposed to show up?" questioned Nate.
"He'll be here, Im sure he is just checking out the spot." Elena said.

Suddenly Nate stood up to a noise coming from behind the main entrance. Slowly emerged a short man holding a video recorder in one hand.

The man took a few quick breaths before speaking. "He's coming here. There's a collection of artifacts on its way from Brute Island that will be made open to the public in a couple of days. There's something else going on, I am trying my best to find out more..."

Before he could finish his sentence he fell to the ground.

"Nate, look!" shouted Elena. "He's bleeding!"

Nialls FanFiction

Wilfred (US) Fan fiction
 - Below is a general overview of my plan for my script. A first draft of the script is to follow this weekend.

IDEAS

This episode would usurp the second episode of season 1.

Title: Control

The central plot of the episode:

While out on a walk down to the beach with Ryan, Wilfred yells “I’ll kill you” to some seagulls and chases them into the back of a truck. Ryan in a panic follows the truck out of town to where Wilfred has gotten out. He is smoking and as the truck pulls out he waves and lazily turns around at the same time. As Ryan pulls up and gets out Wilfred is pissing in the same spot. They have a brief argument and then Wilfred walks away from the road. There will be a scene of them walking together with Wilfred lecturing Ryan. Eventually they arrive at a cliff and Wilfred tells Ryan “This is what you were trying to do last night. Here it is, the easy way.”(referencing the suicide attempt in E01). Wilfred then lectures Ryan on having control of his life and bates him to jump to prove that he is the one in control of his life and that it’s his choice to be alive.

Reasoning

This wouldn’t be enough of a plot for an entire episode, however 800 words isn’t enough to get a complex plot across without it feeling tight. I’d rather have it feel a little quick and simple than sacrifice pace.




First Draft
 - Ok, so this is a very rough first draft; with the ending still to come. Although, since the show usually ends with a little banter to cover the credits the climax is in this draft. I have poor punctuation skills (and spelling actually) so if you notice things that are wrong please be as specific as possible so that I can correct.

Ending

I plan to end this with Ryan and Wilfred in Ryan’s basement smoking and talking about Good Will Hunting. – As this is Fan Fiction I thought I’d end with a little nod to the show.

FYI

Christian is Ryans sister.

Jenna is Wilfreds owner.
Wilfred loves Matt Damon.

And Ryan and Wilfred looks like this:

Script - finished version

Control

Open on the side of the road out in the country. Wilfred waves as a truck pulls out and in the same motion he turns around.

Ryan then pulls up and gets out of his car.

Wilfred is peeing on the side of the road and smoking.

Ryan: What the hell was that? We have to get back, Jenna will be home soon.

Wilfred: Ryan, I'm not going to the dentist. Relax, the sky’s blue and the days young.

Ryan: The sky's gray and I’m done with today, and I'm done with your shit. Get in the car.

Wilfred: Gray you say? Hmmmm.

Wilfred walks away from Ryan and starts walking across a field.

Ryan runs after him and catches up.

Wilfred: The problem, Ryan is that you always come when you're called. Your sister tricks you into getting a job you don't want, and when I convince you not to go you still apologize to the bitch.

Ryan: She did me a favor...

Wilfred: She pulled on your leash.

Ryan: And what about Jenna?

Wilfred: What about her? - Aggressively, turning to Ryan.

Ryan: I've seen her physically pull on your leash.

Wilfred throws his cigarette away and keeps walking.

Wilfred: I'm a dog, what's your excuse?

They come to a cliff. It’s raining and there is a high wind blowing.

Wilfred: Smell the sea air, chase a bird, Ryan. Get in touch with your inner animal. – He growls “animal”.

Ryan: So I can be free like you? (Ryan gestures toward Wilfred). You’re trying to force me through this journey of self-discovery so I can have the confidence to rub my ass on the carpet.

Wilfred: YES! Ryan, everything in your life is under your control. You don’t have to take this shit. Rub your ass on the carpet. Be a man! – getting more incensed throughout the last two sentences.

Ryan picks up a stick, he looks exasperated. Wilfred’s expression is of childish wonder and he's watching the stick.

Ryan: You want it? Come on, come on. Ryan is waving the stick from side to side. Go and get it.

He throws the stick, and Wilfred runs out of frame.

Wilfred comes back with a dead seagull in his mouth.

Ryan: you’re telling me to be a man? Well you’re a dog. No one has complete control, Wilfred.

Wilfred drops the seagull.

Wilfred: You wanted to play fetch, and I went hunting; control.

Ryan: I’m going home. - He begins to walk away.

Wilfred: This is what you were trying to do the other night – said quietly.

Wilfred takes a drag on his cigarette: “If this is what you want then do it”

Ryan: This isn’t what I want.

Wilfred: Isn’t it? – In a somber voice.

The wind and rain have picked up and turned into a storm, Ryan and Wilfred are soaked and the cliff and sea beyond look bleak.

Ryan: No, I…

Wilfred: Everyone wants you to be this, be that. Maybe what you want is to be nothing? – said lyrically, with an upwards inflection at the end.

Wilfred: Jump, Ryan, it’s what you’ve been building to. You quit your job, you stopped talking to dad, you blew Christain off. This is the next step, Ryan. Take control, be free! – He growls “be free”.

Ryan: Stop! – Yells this.

Wilfred: Why? – pitching forward, towards Ryan.

Ryan: Because I’m going to do this my way.

The tension eases out of Wilfred.

Wilfred: Good. – Wilfred turns, about to walk back.

Cut to them getting back into the car. Wilfred shakes himself dry covering Ryan and the car in water. Ryan looks at Wilfred, outraged.

The title screen comes up accompanied by the theme music. The title screen fades to show Ryan sitting on the couch in the basement. The camera is looking up at him from the table that is in front of him. Wilfred is visible over his shoulder writing on a chalk board.

Ryan: You know, Wilfred I…..

Wilfred: Ryan, shhhh. If I can solve this my genius will finally be recognized. And I’ll get that bitch from Harvard.

Wilfred twists his trunk towards Ryan and smiles mischievously at him before putting the chalk down and joining Ryan on the couch, Wilfred begins to pack a bong.

Ryan: Do you really think that he was going for the girl?

Ryan takes a sip of his beer and sets it back down.

Wilfred: Why?

Ryan: Nothing, I just sensed a little magic coming from Robin Williams is all.

Wilfred: So? Damon would have torn that apart.

Ryan: I dunno, the way Matt was holding onto him, It felt like he was about to bend over.

Ryan takes another sip and looks at Wilfred as he does.

Wilfred is smoking from the bong and he looks angrily over the top at Ryan.

Ryan: (coyly with the hint of a smile in his voice) And if Williams didn’t get him Affleck would have.

Wilfred slams the lighter down on the table and walks out of frame.

The title screen and music play again and are followed by the credits.

Reviews From The Desk Of Niall Heeney

#1

Tittle: Ryans universe3

Author: Vampire-hunting-angel

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7376906/1/Ryans_universe3

This piece doesn't deal with an alternate reality but rather tries to serve as another episode or piece of an episode within the existing story.

In this imagined episode Ryan meets a new neighbour who also has a dog which Ryan can see the way that he can see Wilfred.

Wilfred also alludes to the neighbour being able to see the dogs this way too; this would forever change the story and would probably become a central plot point. This makes this a very interesting idea for a piece of fan fiction.

Ryan and the new neighbour bond over and awkward meeting, and their mutual depression over their would be romantic lives.

The first thing which struck me was that there was a lot of punctuation missing, this along with the sometimes broken grammar and the writer not having the best grasp of proper script format break the flow somewhat.

The new neighbour talks an unnatural amount; in fact the whole attempt to set up the friendship seems forced, as does all the dialogue between the two.

Ryan’s speech is much wordier than usual and in a style that is alien to his usual bumbly speech, this makes me feel uneasy. A beloved character is taking on someone else’s manner. Ryan is often an awkward character but the dialogue still does not feel like him.

The way issues are addressed, such as Ryan being used by Jenna is far to direct. In most Wilfred scripts characters motivations are less directly talked about and therefore less obvious and this leaves situations open to the enormous theme of manipulation which, is a key characteristic of the show. This is completely missing.

One thing I did really enjoy was the authors portrayal of Wilfred, Wilfred comes through as believable with his usual lovable positions on things. I can feel Wilfred’s, confidence, swagger and aggression and I’m immediately at home with this portrayal of the character. I even feel like I can see Wilfred walking with Ryan, fur glowing in the sun.

The attention to detail also rings true for Wilfred’s character. He has seen no houses for sale and therefore concludes that any new people in the neighbourhood are out of place and bearing ill will to the pack.

Overall I found he script weak….and oddly disconcerting. The plot never went anywhere and seemed only to bizarrely shoehorn in a relationship with an awkward gay guy. This situation would not play out this way in the actual show and so the dialogue seems completely wrong. The characters have to say things they wouldn’t in order to serve the plot and do things that they usually wouldn’t.

#2

Tittle: Own Worst Enemy

Author: eclectiqueRDF

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7705294/1/Own_Worst_Enemy

In this fan fiction Charlie finds a book on Freud and through what he can piece together about psycho-analysis, through his thick dyslexia, astounds him. Dennis shows some of his characteristic strangely intense anger. Charlie then attempts to use his new found knowledge to encourage Dennis to look inside of himself and uncover what he has repressed, Dennis as he would immediately dismisses him.

Meanwhile Dee ditches out on the end of work to go out on a date. She even rubs this in because they call her a bird.

Mac is either bored or in love with Dee, maybe both. This plot line felt off. It says in the synopsis that he is struggling with feelings for her but the actual dialogue displays this weekly if at all and it comes across as confusing and strange.

This piece is short, but it's quite sweet. It's not long so we get a nice familiar burst of our favourite characters. The story perfectly captures the shows sense of humour and since the show's heavily character based even when the dialogue doesn't quite fit it still has the warm familiarity of one of my favourite shows.

#3

Tittle: Marks Day Off

Author: Courtneycat

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7229345/1/Marks_day_off

In this script the plot is quite simple. Callie calls Mark telling him that the D.O.I is on fire. Mark sets out to help and comes across each of his friends one by one while  trying to find Callie. Callie has lied about the D.O.I being on fire. Eventually, Mark finds Callie and learns that she lured him down there to seduce him, either out of lust or, more likely as a sexual power play.

The spelling is bad enough to be distracting and sometimes change the words entirely. The dialogue for the characters is close to the way that they would speak in the real thing but it falls short. Each character speaks from a very similar voice and each sais at least one thing that is out of character.

The plot is weak but that leaves a lot of room for the characters to talk and even with the stumbling dialogue the characters still have some of their spark.

I can live with all of the above, but I can’t cope with how poorly the author understands Callie’s character. If Callie were to lure mark to the D.O.I for sex it would be motivated as much by power as her simple, sexy Daemon factor. The author doesn’t seem to understand this and it makes Callie come off not as herself. Finally, Callie would laugh at and maybe even kill someone dull enough to think having sex in a copy room was exciting.

#4

Tittle: Bad Animation

Author: akito01

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2438928/1/Home_Movies_Bad_Animation

In this episode Brendon gets the idea from coach McGurk to make an animated feature. In lovable Brendon fashion he goes from conversation to conversation trying to find an easy way to get the project done. Doing no research and talking to the usual characters Brendon is eventually defeated in his quest to make his first animated feature.

During this time, inspired by a naked SpongeBob, Jason begins to draw test images.

The plot is very short and even though it is true to the characters (Brendan wouldn't do any research) this means it has nowhere to go. Brendon tries to get advice from the pre-existing characters in the show who also know nothing about animation. This means that the plot never really goes anywhere; it's just a collection of conversations.

The conversations genuinely made me laugh a few times. The rhythm of the dialogue and the role the characters take in every conversation is true to form; when Jason Sais “I, um, want to be naked” I feel like I’m watching a real episode. However some of the words used feel like a betrayal of the characters vocabulary, the author knows the characters but has missed some of the nuances of their speech. There are also points where the script doesn't give enough direction. This is fan fiction, it is meant to stand up on its own as a script, but the script never describes how the lines are delivered and this means some of the conversations don't have the atmosphere that the author intended.

Lastly, there is one camera angle described that I have to praise. When Brendan goes into the computer lab the camera is positioned behind the computer screen looking out at Brendan. Very home moves.

Overall, I liked this script. The characters felt familiar, Jason especially and there were some real laughs to be had.

#5

Tittle: Big Trouble in Little Gstaad

Author: Citizenjess

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6929611/1/Big_Trouble_in_Little_Gstaad

In this script Anka continues her mischievous seduction of Archer. The script starts with a conversation Archer has with Lana which gives context to the script and a funny little aside for their relationship to express itself. It then progresses to Anka coming onto Archer, following their miraculous survival of the snow mobile fight which took place in E1 S02 of the actual show.

This was my favourite of all the fanfiction I read. The dialogue of each individual character feels easy and is mostly in keeping with their usual dialogue. There is the occasional word or two that sends me back to reality but for the most part, I’m watching an episode of Archer. What really grabbed me about this piece was the execution of the relationships between the characters. They speak to one another and fill their roles in conversation with beautiful accuracy. Special mention goes to Anka, she is coy, mysterious and smug about holding all the cards and yet I still sympathise with her as a character. Pulling this off with such a short script has very much impressed me.

My only criticism is the lack of directing, however, this is a tiny gripe because there is some explanation of when the characters come and go and how they say thing etc. The script is so well written that I can see the scene play out in my mind’s eye without being told how it happens.

Wonderful.

Abbey's FanFic

Daphne

A FanFiction for the film Some Like it Hot.

Film Overview

Jazz musicians Joe and Jerry witness a murder. They are seen by the murderers and fear for their lives. Needing to escape Chicago they dress in drag and join an all-female Jazz group headed to Florida, the only job available. Joe takes on the alter-ego “Josephine” and Jerry becomes “Daphne”.  After a lot of farce and trickery, Joe ends up with Sugar Kane (Marilyn Monroe) and Jerry, who takes his alter-ego a bit too seriously, ends up engaged to an old male billionaire.  When Jerry pulls off his wig in the final scene confessing “I’m a man”, the old billionaire delivers the famous closing line, “Well, nobody’s perfect.”

  My FanFiction starts before the movie begins.

Chicago

January 1st, 1929

  “Five!” a lone voice shouted, signalling the end of the year. “Four!” it continued. Those five last beats hung prickly on Jerry’s skin. How could the year be out already? “Two, one, Happy New Year!” everybody chimed, throwing back their scotch-filled coffee mugs. Chaos for a few seconds as everybody hugged and then they were back on.  Making hot noise for the girls in the line to dance to.

  What a place to ring in the New Year, thought Jerry. Spats Colombo’s underground club. From the outside it was a funeral parlour. But utter, “I’m here for Gran-ma's funeral” and one would be lead into the Toulouse Lautrec-style speakeasy. Jerry had seen a casket being carried in once. Turned out it was full of booze!

 As the drunken young patrons danced the New Year in Jerry glanced at the ‘pews reserved for the immediate family’. Spats Colombo, surrounded by his men, sat solemn and still, despite the commotion. Jerry didn’t expect to see him dance or anything, but still was surprised by the stoicism of the man.

His eyes were fixed on someone, and Jerry felt relieved he wasn’t that person. Enveloped by gangsters in snappy suits, the table made for an intimidating posse. He wore musky cologne that infused with the fragrance of whiskey and he held the most relentless fixed stare. Rub him wrongly and a nod to his men could have you dragged off to- Jerry didn’t want to know where.

Jerry tended to put his boss out of his mind though.. The bouncing bosoms in front of him were first-class distraction.

Joe would be dragging him to any place the ladies danced in their underwear anyway, but every day that he went to work there was chance of a police raid. The back-rent he owed was incentive enough to risk it.

He reflected on the odd jobs which punctuated 1928. There was Bacon’s Casino, innumerable one-night gigs. Nothing in his life was constant but his trusty bass fiddle. And Joe of course, damned Joe and his damned sax.

  

Maybe that was unfair, their friendship spanned years. They had their own language, the two of them. He only wished Joe would stay outta trouble. His constant tail chasing left them with hundreds of enemies. Disgruntled boyfriends were one thing; they could handle that.  Scorned women though, were something else. They were fiery those dames and Joe pissed them off so fast Jerry didn’t have a chance.

 “1929!” whispered Joe, smiling at the girls dancing in front of him.  “I tell you Jerry boy, we are living in the future!”

  “This wasn’t how I pictured my future” said Jerry, plucking quickly on his bass.

  “What could be better, we got jobs don’t we? And we got front row seats” he winked at

Evelyn.

“Yeah, and each of these broads are hasslin’ us for the money we owe ‘em” Jerry countered.

 

I suppose he’s right though, he thought. They were working at least. But this year would be different he vowed, making a secret New Year’s resolution. This year he would do something drastic.

 

Unable to supress a smile, he looked back at the girls; they didn’t have to worry like this. With those figures they could shimmy anywhere.

 Carbon clones, he thought to himself. The same red lips and black-rimmed eyes, the same boned corsets and feathers in their hair.

 

There was one exception. The star of the show and the gentlemen’s favourite. She was dressed the same as the others, she wore the same make-up, but Jerry had a feeling she earned more pay. While the others girls would sweat and ended up racoons backstage at curtain close, this girl seemed to float through her routines. This girl seemed to float through life.

Her name was Daphne and Jerry knew she had it easy. It was the way her eyes opened so widely, evoking a naivety that they all knew was put on. It tricked people into falling in love. She bounced and kicked in time with the others, but eyes were drawn to her, in the magic of the year’s first hour, as if she were dancing her own dance completely.

He wished he could have her, he wished he could hold her but more than anything he wished he could be her. Shaking her bottom to get what she wanted. Catching himself he restructured that thought. He wished his life could be that simple.

January 13^th 

Chicago Train Station

How do they walk in these things he wondered, as his legs wobbled? The balls of his feet were aching already, not to mention how odd his other balls felt. He felt certain everybody could see up his dress. The cold on his behind was something he’d never felt in public before.
 

Dressed in a furry second-hand overcoat, the most awkward panty-hose and glistening pumps, he did his best to amble along the pathway. They wouldn’t get away with this, he thought, in frenzy. He was sure his eyes gave away his manhood. He peered at Joe, sauntering beside him. What a laughable sight he thought to himself, but laughter refused to form in his throat.

Only two weeks ago they were celebrating New Years. In two weeks the joint had been raided, they had witnessed a murder and had signed up for an all-girl jazz group on its way to Florida.

Watching Spats Colombo kill Tooth-pick Charlie had to be the most nauseating moment of his life.  It was by the grace of God that they escaped with their lives.  Glancing down at his padded chest he remembered that ‘desperate times’ saying. 

The long black steam train which stretched out on his left was their only escape from this incredible madness.But wearing this junk almost made him forget that fact.

“It’s no use, we’re not going to get away with it Joe.”

 “The name’s Josephine and this was your idea in the first place!” Joe spat, but Jerry didn’t hear him. He was distracted by the blonde who sauntered passed them at that moment. There were no straight lines on her perfect body and her blonde hair appeared glow-in-the-dark. The “ladies” stared for a good 7 seconds. 

She was wrapped in black silk and carried a ukulele. 

 “Look at that! Look at the way she moves!  It looks just like Jell-O on springs! She must have some sort of built in motor” Jerry shimmied imitating.

 Already he envied her, ‘I bet she shakes her bottom through life too,’ he thought.  Only once before had he seen a woman of that calibre. 

Her hypnotizing allure broke Jerry’s heart, “I’m telling you Joe, it’s a whole different sex!”

But Spats was looking for them, he didn’t leave witnesses. Staying in Chicago meant almost certain death and Jerry reluctantly ambled along.

 “Are you the new girls?” Asked the women by the train

“Brand new!” squeaked Jerry, dryly.

But this was Jerry’s time. This was his drastic move. This was his chance to start a different life.

“I’m Josephine” said Joe in a high-pitched voice, casting an expectant eye in Jerry’s direction.

Jerryldene wasn’t right he thought. It wasn't the name of someone who floated through life. He looked at Sweet Sue, the band conductor and forced a grin, here goes nothing!

“I’m Daphne!”

 -The end-